I’m focused, working hard, my mind all about getting shit done. And wouldn’t you know it, I’m here in the mofo hospital wasting my efforts for low low pay underneath bosses who plain don’t care. This here moment of agitation is motivation. I want to be doing my own projects because then I might be earning my worth… And some other resentful thoughts that intrude on daily life.

It’s not that bad. Things never are. It turns out perspective is huge. While I do resent the low wages I get at work, the secondary aspects like conflict resolution skills, honestly and earnestness, working as a team. When you work in a team towards a larger goal, it reminds when pettiness is petty. Sometimes it’s someone else throwing the fit, sometimes you, but when you can recognize “petty” and learn to let go, that is a very strong skillset to have in life.

Resentments often enough are petty.

There are plenty of times at work where I’m late or the break is long or something isn’t done perfect and you know what, I’m fine with that. Because here’s the raw deal: my pay and worth to this organization is not based on my intelligence, longevity, merit, or effort. Its all dependant on my formal education. Recognizing all this is also a good skillset.

Armed with this knowledge, I know that for all the minor grievances they may have against me, they are still getting on hell of a bargain for what they pay. All the times I’ve talked down aggressive patients, wrestled patients who were aggressive towards nurses, muscled infermed patients from beds to wheel chairs and back again. Beleive you me, I work hard, I earn my keep. What I’m not compensated for monetarily, I get in karma, kudos, and respect. Consider it all community service.

Yeah, thoughts like those propell me to be more level headed and autonomous. I’m passively aggressively tolerating a job which passive aggressively exploits me. Shrug, that’s the system I live in. How do I make the best of it? Now there’s a strong skillset to master.