It’s time for me to attempt understanding a world that doesn’t understand me. That’s right, kiddos, blog time.

I got a book to write and illustrate and design and publish. I have not wrote, illustrated, designed, or published in nigh six to eight weeks. Do I know what I’m doing anymore? No. In my defense, though, I’ve never known what I’m doing. So joke’s on the universe, or me. Who knows?

Dallying paragraphs and attention deficits aside, I do have this little book project to wrastle with. So long as I keep it on my radar and attribute a little each day, it’ll get done in a timely fashion. This trend started anew two days ago with yesterday being an exception; school junk. I read somewhere that it takes 21 days to form a habit. By my count I have 20 days left. 

School. I have me an orientation next week and some school career counseling to run through. From what I can glean from my test scores, there are two lower math classes I’ll need to tick off before I can enroll in the higher math classes that work towards my degree. By my estimates, at about 100 bucks a credit hour along with a few more hundred for books, about $1000 for the whole ordeal. That’s $1000 extra that I don’t have. Not to mention the extra semester I’d have to tack onto my optimistic goal of five years. That dog won’t hunt.

I have fond memories of being very capable with math. If only those skills hadn’t atrophied over the years. My score on the algebra section of the test wasn’t so low that I can’t fix it. The benchmark I need to reach is a measly twenty points above what I scored.  The remedy seems pretty clear: study hard and retake the test.

Doubts occur when I reflect on time constraints. Two to three weeks to relearn algebra and learn enough college math to place me in a higher tier. I am daunted. I wonder if I have enough discipline or smarts or time to really do it. My optimism is diminished . . . Be all that as it may with butterflies fluttering in my stomach as they are, it’s pretty clear I need to try. It’d be grossly irresponsible and wasteful for me not to . . . I feel pretty small about now.

Better get started.