Day 5

I’ll need to get more creative with my titles, me thinks.

My instinct this morning: play me some effing video games. What I should do? I’m still not sure. Meditate, exercise, eat healthy, clean house, start a new project on the house, help out grandma with a few projects, check for jobs, check on applications, soul search, find a future, and more of this labored list I can’t recall. I doubt I’ll a thing on here, though. Nix that. I’ll play me some games.

My girlfriend fights herself in how she wants to change me. Or how much. Which leaves me feeling sad. I don’t want to disappoint. But I do. How couldn’t I? Her expectations get too high. In her defense, she needs them up there, because mine are too low. Whose are more realistic? Neither. We’re doing what our kind do. We’re meeting in the middle. She dials down a peg, I step it up. I’m not sure all relationships are like this. All of mine have been similar to this dynamic. My theory is all fellows need some domestication. Not all, not breaking their will. Just to a degree where they go from bachelor to family man.

On to other thoughts . . . And now I’m blank. Shit.

Gimme a minute . . .

. . . A half hour later.

I googled my name to see if this wordpress blog is showing up on the search engines yet. It’s not. I’m ok with that. I want to build this up a little more before I start advertising. a couple dozen entries and some time in. Also I want to make sure this little blog looks better. As of this moment, the blog looks incredibly amateur and sparse. I haven’t exactly figured out how to edit the page. I’ll get on that right away. Eventually.

In googling myself I stumbled upon my wee childrens book I managed to accomplish some years back. I look at it with a tinge of sadness. I couldn’t manage to make it go anywhere. My advertising and salesmanship efforts: stunted and fruitless. Self pity off. Anywho, I was looking at it and part of me pondered about making another go at it. Yep, even my commitment to quit art is in question. I was early into a second book but depression and loneliness side tracked me. No self pity there, just facts. Anywho, I give the book away fro free on my site. Couple of bucks to download the PDF on a few sites. I don’t know, google it if you’re bored.

Alright, enough for now.

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