A day of drinking and video-games has lifted morale to normal levels. Maybe even a little above. I’m a happy camper. Today’s biggest decisions are what to do with the day.
Sister and family are still in town. I haven’t gotten a ton of time to visit with them but the visits have been pleasant. Well, more than “pleasant”, it’s really quite nice to reconnect with loved ones who are oft thought of but never really contacted. It’s good for the soul, especially my soul, to be pulled from my cozy little hovel and called upon to interact with others. That interaction contributes nicely to peace of mind and inoculating against loneliness.
My desire to get on them social networking sites and network my butt off has waned. The sense of satisfaction in doing so has diminished. Reality has eclipsed ideals, make no mistake, building then maintaining an audience is hard work.
Declaring all this doesn’t mean I’ve stopped or intend to stop. It’s like that New-Year’s-Resolution to exercise more, sure you’ve gotten that membership to the gym and exercise regularly, but the fervor to continue is starting to ebb. The luster of the idea is gone and it’s devolved into fighting one’s vices, and, as anyone can attest, fighting them vices is hard work.
My current actions when attempting to network includes half-heartedly mooning over ex’s and fondly recalling the happier memories. Which is natural and lovely to do every now and again, but too much is too much. It’s not contributing to the overall goal of meeting new people and only adds weights to an already heavy heart.
In short, a little less excitement and passion will go into growing that audience. Bit by bit, no unrealistic expectations, just a how-do-you-do every now and again punctuated by the sharing of artwork should suffice. At least until the next impassioned muse flutters down and whispers in my ear, “make it.”
Speaking of making, I have a litany of things to make: Poetry, more art, updated web designs, book layouts, all on top of the networking I’ve been venting over. I can tell you that as I review the list, nothing is particularly appealing, at least right now. My want is to eat and then . . . blank. No real forward thinking is taking place, the absence of interest fails to draw me towards an activity. I guess I’ll have to rely on guilt or self discipline for that. I can tell you from experience that no matter what I begin to do, beginning will be done with great reluctance but, soon after, excitement, adoration, and pride will soon follow.