I’m not sure what to write or what to write about but I’m here writing to write anyhow. Correct me if I’m wrong but this is the sorta stuff you do when forcing yourself to do stuff. You’re earning it.
Ever look up the psychological term for… I forget. It’s a fancy term for breaking bad habits by purposely practicing good habits instead. At least, until the bad habits are replaced by the good. Anywho, that’s the aim. This here blog and this here art are the good habits. The badones, I’ll shy away from oversharing those lest I be judged harshly.
I struggle to think what’s happening when I make giant shifts in my person or behavior. Usually it has to do with staving off boredom, loneliness, sometimes adjusting to new environs, or some sort of mental shenanigans. I’m sad and glad that I need to be doubly on top of mental awareness. You’d think this sorta stuff was built into us. But, if you give it a long look and a good think, a good portion of our emotional awareness and self preservation is coopted by societal demands. Seems only reasonable to have to exert some effort to defy years and years of ill learned habits.
Upon review of why I’m here and to what end. In a moment of self indulgence, I am very self aware that these posts are all boring overly personal musings. At least from my perspective and maybe from those of some particularly mean critics, real or imagined. There’s a giant part of me that wants to keep it all personal and in my little diary on the nightstand. But this here, this counts as self promotion. As gross and unnatural as it feels in today’s day and age; if I’m gonna make this business thing work, I’m forced to put myself out there.