Morning Story
Hi! My name Steve. I’m a forty-some-odd old caucasion male. My hobbiest include sleep deprivation, neouroticism, and self-flaggelation. I love ignoring the serene beauty of long walks on the beach while obsessing over what’s imperfect in my life. I’m looking for love in all the worst places. If you pick me, I can promise you codependence alongside petty nitty-gritty fights on a frequent basis.
It’s stated in jest, I assure you. Hopefully the comedy isn’t too bitter.
Despite the self depreciating opening and the room therein to be misread, I’m in a delightful mood. This morning finds me at work watching another feller with a drinking problem. He quit cold turkey and when you do that with alcohol it’s life threatening. So be mindful about your vices, kids.
Watching a dude sleep it off is boring as fuck 99% of the time. I’m gonna be bored eventually, but not yet. I have the wherewithal to write here, spend some time on poems, and drawings. I’ve got a ways to go yet before I’m clawing at the walls. Soooo, give it about an hour.
What do I tell you about books and arts and crafting that I haven’t already told you? The grind is still grinding away. I have a healthy fourday weekend ahead inwhich to do just that: grind. I’m excited! And! There’s a ten day vacation coming up where MORE artworks can happen. The next coupla weeks are gonna be productive. The notion gives me tingles.
Checking in on you!! 🙂 hope you are doing well.
hi, Rachael. i’m doing ok, i guess. Im nursing a low grade depression. And when ever i get in this state i want to simplify. less chores, obligations, responsibilities, some times less people. i’m doing what i can, exercising, eating well, sleeping with routine… drinking as little as i can but i have my days… i dunno. im doing my best with what i got. i’m sorry to be so polar
No need to apologize. I was just checking on you. Take care of yourself. Up your B complex, magnesium and essential fatty acids and vit d3. Simplifying sounds amazing! and I am likely low grade deperessed too..LOL I get it.
I am checking in on you again. 🙂 Hope you are well.
Yeah, I guess I’m doing Ok. I’ve lost some weight, replaced it with fitness, eat . . . I try to eat good. What am I doing with myself? I’m back in the schools. With great hesitance and humility, I’m gonna try to be a nurse. These science classes are interesting. Mark my words, I will hate the job, but practicality speaking, with my age and so forth, it’s the best I got to get me through to retirement securely. I can dick around with trying to be happy later.
Art. At this point, I’m pretty sure I’ll never make my peace with it. The work I put into it takes away from just getting basic needs covered. The isolation of working in my studio is a fond favoite, but too much work or isolation is a killer. And with how things are, I imagine I have to be damned good at endure both just to make a scratch artistically…
Feels like it’s time to grow up.
Ah yes the whole eating and living in doors thing. This is def not how we were meant to live. Retirement …..what is that ? haha I do not have that either. I thought you were already a nurse? and Balance… key to everything. Maybe just let the art feed your soul and worry with making $$ with it later. Hang in there.
Nope, I’m a CNA and have been for the past ten years. Been in school that long for an associates nursing degree… A few more years and i’ll get it. In the mean time, I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to cobble together that “balance” you mention… Feels like I’ve been lopsided all this time. Still trying to round it out, who knows, maybe that’s life journey. As to practical things, while I am secure on money, it never first to have more. If I could part time it as a nurse and part time it as an art guy, that sure sounds nice. I’d love to give it a try. Until then, my biggest pleasures are exercise and food. I’m happiest well exercised and eating healthy with cookies. Here and there
knowing thyself in general is key!