I slept last night and I slept well. Turns out I dozed of in my recliner, I think of it now as like falling asleep in a giant’s cupped hand. Such thoughts bring a smile to my heart.
This week is one of much self reflection as I go on to define and redefine the heck out of myself and my life, you know, as I do. Things about my nature like antisocial behavior, laziness, a weird sense of entitlement, self centered thinking; the pillars of my personality. I decry them as demons while quietly second guessing such claims.
The deal is: I work at work, I work at school, and I work at my relationship. I am happier and richer for doing so. I have not worked on art, the book, and just yesterday I was forced to cancel the only art show I had scheduled in a year all this leaves me humbled. I struggle to reconcile it all.
There will be a time, eventually, when I will realize my ambitions. As I compromise on my dreams, lofty as they are, I am dealing with the resulting tinges. Don’t get me wrong, things aren’t over, I haven’t given up. I am thumbing down the volume on my artistic side whilst upping the volume on reality.