The Days After

This post finds me on the days after. Hedonism was committed but a few days hence. Sober days thus far are four. This morning finds me in good spirits. Normally, I would resent my responsibilities for taking me away from my sources of instant gratification. Not so today. In fact, the opposite; I’m enjoying the fruits of being responsible. So here I write a little diddy, display my prowess, and appreciate this oddity in my character. Diligently practicing and fortifying the good habits so that when I do go on my little dopamine excursions, I have a safe place to land and a reminder that I have worth.

As a fellow who chases instant gratification, I do notice how small my life is. Well shit, on the grand scale, we’re all small, right? I think what I’m referring to here is material components to my life. Minimal like a monk. Very minimal. My shanty is small, all measured, my living space is about 600 square feet. And its enough. I just finished purging and shredding a closet’s worth of mementos and quasi important papers, which gives me even less material baggage to carry. I own what I have. And go to great lengths to ensure I don’t feel owned by what I have. My life is modest and content.

Which can conflict with what society deems as successful. More often that not, because I am not displaying excess, I am defending my lifestyle from those who judge at first blush. My case feels solid enough to me, but as I explain, a healthy portion of the people I try to enlighten give skeptical nods. That skepticism reflected back at me. I can’t help but to reevaluate my position and values. Am I getting it right? It sure feels right. Can I help them understand? I try, mixed results depending on mixed people.

Which is fine in the grand scheme of things. We all need to measure the worth of what we dedicate our time and efforts to. Such checks enforce the importance and significance of whatever practice propels us through and makes living worthwhile.

Which brings me round back to what I have versus what I’d like to grow towards. So, the portion of my time chasing instant gratification, I’d like to trade some of that to help future proof my life. In other words, spend a little less time milling about and a little more time working towards something grander. What is that “something bigger”, for now it looks to be financial independence and doubling down for more autonomy. Loftily speaking, a little more money, a little more freedom, and a little more legacy building. All of which will come from more work. Which I can do. especially when that work is worthwhile.

4 Comments on “The Days After

  1. There is something to be said for contentment. Seriously. I know a lot of people that just aren’t content NO MATTER what they have. Must be miserable living in their heads. I am generally a content person ( my Tauran energy, I am sure) but that also means that I struggle to show happy, giddy, strong emotion. Lol my kids (and their friends) laugh at me. My text responses are usually one word responses. I don’t emote very well. haha But they don’t usually wonder where I am or what I am thinking. And if you take the time I generally have a lot to say as long as I am posed with the right questions. There is something to be said for contentment. It makes life easier to enjoy
    As far as society goes… they are largely shallow and aimless soo….. looking towards that for affirmation is fruitless. That’s not to say that sometimes that is motivating. Are you a good friend? Do you touch people for being you? Do you impart wisdom? Love? Understanding? Integrity? Those at the important things. Those things are what we leave behind. Art moves and touches people. Doesn’t usually pay the bills…but I digress. These things you can do in your job.

    • Yeah, I couldn’t agree more, contentment is very underrated. There are those that confuse it with stagnation, though. Reasoning is: when outsiders look in and they see your balance, like minded people will be able to fill in the unknowns and attribute respect. Non-like minded people will do the opposite, unable to fill in the unknowns, they go on to misunderstand. Wisest people of all know how to respect contentment without guessing the variables in others or explaining their own. Life’s just more enjoyable that way.

      You continue to be you. The kids only tease cause they’re still learning how to reconcile their own values and thereby contentment.

      As to society, yuck. It is this large amorphous thing where depravity abounds. Nowadays, seems like its best for people to cultivate thier tribes with people they respect. And (underlined, bold, italicized) who challenge them to be better. Better people, tribesman, positive contributors.

      Seems like you and me are on the same page.

  2. I hit the damn wrong button. LOL Anyhoo…. Be you. Be real. Allow your soul to sing through your art. You will go far. It may just not look like you think it will.

    • lol, happens to us all.

      Anywho, I will take your advice to heart and let me be me. Please, you do the same, be you.

      I feel like I’m in a good place and on a good trajectory. I can only guess your well being, but from what you share, the guess is very optimistic.

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