I over exerted myself yesterday. I am feeling it today. It’s nice to know I can lift a 250+ lb woman and that I can hold her up for thirty seconds and that I can set her down safely. It’s also nice to know that such activity will expend my energy for rest of the night and the morning after. Suffice it to say, I won’t be doing that again anytime soon. I will declare that and ,”Ow.”
Yesterday I spent my morning working on the site. More “Buy Now” buttons placed and code scrupulously written. The store is looking good. Could look better; looks better than it did. I plan on spending some time on the website again this morning. Plan on uploading some better pics, plan on developing a few more products, plan on . . . losing my train of thought. In any case, website.
No art. Not today. I need to let that reserve refill. Yesterday without art felt good. I’ll continue that trend. It feels right; less anxiety, less fighting myself, less procrastination. In the mean time, I can be productive on other aspects of the project. Project: Steve contributes.
I am sure I’ve told you all before, but it’s not the money. It’s not. Poverty is fine. It’s the independence I am looking for. Eke out enough of an income where I don’t have to worry about basic living. You know, payment for a shanty, fine canned dining, the wonders of electricity. I’m not looking to take, I’m trying to give. I’ve been trying for a while now.
Give what, exactly? The art. I think that’s all I have to give. The giving has been hard. Why? I don’t have a decent answer. A few educated guesses; “s it good enough?”, “Is it wanted?”, “Is it needed?” are a few of the nagging questions I like to beg. My answers for these are uncertain at best. My theories are: 1) Inconsistency, 2) Weak work ethic, and 3) Reclusive tendencies. I’m doing my best not to be insecure or neurotic, just honest. The most educated guess I can venture with the limited data I have.
. . . More later, I’ve spent a ton of time on the blog this morning and I need to get to work.