Were I to guess the recipe for success the first part would be to know they self. Second part would go something like know they world. Third part: orient the two accordingly. Me, I’m pretty sure I get lost somewhere in navigating that third part.
I’m pretty self aware. At my age with all the life lessons, it’s really hard not to be. The world really isn’t much harder to figure out. I think I figured that out first. Negotiating the two? Oh, my! Finding the compromises between the self and world is an ordeal. And constantly needing to be reestablished. Then gauging how to improve efficacy, efficiency, or even if it’s worth while. Fuck. Sometimes I struggle. And the never ending feedback loop is torture.
How I picture the perfect me would be? In this world? That’s a vision that’s changed a lot over the years. Now? Fuck if I know. The running theme throughout them all has been independence. Where I’m not reliant upon or beholden to anyone or anything. Which is a cute theme but, at times, can get cripplingly lonely or empty. Overall, tough.
That’s all of us, isn’t it? Living through our choices. Enjoying what we chose to see and suffering through what we didn’t. Which, I guess, is how wisdom is tempered. Learning the real values of pleasures and the hidden costs behind them. And truly appreciating those those little freebies life tosses our way once and again.