Uneven Steven

Here I sit writing this after two weeks of hedonism. No exercise, shitty foods, laying around just playing them games. It was awful. Did I need it? Doubtful. But there was a nagging stress, an itch all my good habits just couldn’t scratch. And thuswise did I relapse into bad coping strats.

Good news is, for whatever reason, I’ve decided I’ve had enough. I finished out my last day of debauchery drunk and sick on both games and greasy food. The very next day twas a recovery day. And today, well, I’m back to good habits. I’m both stunned and proud that the lapse was short, mild, and that I could pull myself out. What a nice change from the times I sink and stew and stagnate in the worst of it.

I’m coming back from a nice five mile hike. Grocery shopping done. Discerning for healthy options. There are a handful of neglected chores around the house, but gimme another day or so and I should be caught up and making progress.

Among the avenues of progression I’d like to pursue is writing here and publishing each entry with an art something rather. No art today, more on that later. I’d really like to do that biweekly for the rest of the year. Writing here counts as journaling and practicing the craft of writing. The art, more abstract practice in creative applications. Eventually, should these good habits congeal, I’ll have firm ground to stand on to get back to making those books.

Those books are not hard to make. Not at all. Whats hard is making them up to my standards. All whilsy not neglecting basic needs. Another personal challenge is maintaining the hard work ethic without succumbing to burnout. Which, considering how sneaky burnout can be, is tough. That’ll always been a tricky trigger to avoid.

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