No art this weekend. Had to wrestle with life’s projects. In particular, the swamp cooler was no good. House would get as hot as a drier in Hades. Spent about eight hours and two hundred bucks rebuilding the thing. At th time, it felt like an ordeal especially with all the trips to Home Depot for last minute parts and supplies. Long story short, its humming away cooling like it should!
To be honest, I was bothered by the whole the chore of it and being disappointed about not doing art. That was until I came to work to find a co-worker with a very similar situation. Poor girl had to spend four thousand dollars to have hers replaced. Good lord! Suddenly my efforts are contrasted against what could have been. Who knew that “chore” could save me so much money.
Onto other chores and saving money, Scraped up the car. Spent the other half of the weekend researching filing a claim versus letting it go, getting various quotes, reading all the fine print. Uhg, I don’t need or want to get screwed over by a system already out to get me. So I was a busy boy all weekend.
There’s stuff on my plate. There always is. It’s always gonna feel like too much. If precedent demonstrates anything, as soon as my plate gets room, I’ll find a project to fill it. Fix something, replace another thing, learn a new skillset; this is my pattern in life the past twenty-some-odd years.
So when I start to really get on myself about working hard enough, good enough, fast enough. I really really gotta tell that nagging inner voice to shut the fuck up.
I’m doing fine. I always have been.
I’m doing great for what I got. Especially considering I do so much of it by myself. What I got is smaller but it’s earned, it’s honest, but is mine.