Yeah, coming in a day late. Normally, like to post these things on Mondays and Fridays, and here we are on a Tuesday of all days. I’ve found, that ever since that math test a few days back, I have been way relaxed about many a thing. Too many, really. Gearing up to the test, I was very responsible and studied hard. Going so far as to, when study fatigue would set in, distract myself with other responsibilities, cleaning being foremost. But the test came, turned out well, and after, well after I recall the drive home the good news and thinking, “Cool, lets celebrate and reward the hard work.” And my mind and mood sunk as I struggled to think of a how. Beer? No. Games? Meh. Friends? What friends? I keep friends in an aloof space, where I don’t over commit while at the same time inadvertently under-delivering. A defense mechanism for my natural state of co-dependence, more on that another time.

So, as the drive home came closer and the relief of the experience faded, I was left in a grey mood where, I didn’t know how to, you know, “let loose”. So, I ended up doing as I always do, I neglected the world to just lay around and do naught. Read some fantasy lore, played some games, watched zombie movies which, to me, this shit feels like candy. Feels strange in retrospect. I guess a slow-burn extended unfurling-of-the-self is a perfectly valid way to recover from stresses. Not at all like the advertised explosive-binging-of-the-vices society plays front and center. I guess the cliche: Work hard, play harder has can be converted into a: Work soft, play softer. Depends on preference, I guess.

Thusly here I write, a blob of a person who’s only real goal is to deepen the butt indentation on the couch. Early into day five, feels like time to reel it in. Get back to being, I don’t know, something other than a lazy hair bag. Little things are amassing, there is a large salmon fillet in the fridge that is about to expire, meal-prep-day is overdue. The home cooler, especially on these hot hot days, is warbling and whispering a little. Need to get out there adjust the barrel fan alignment and give it a generous oil. Debris from my laissez-faire living, like dirty clothes, dirty dishes, and other such “dirty” nouns are strewn about the homestead begging to be tidied.

Given my mood this morning, looks like I’m going to get there eventually. Gimme just a minute to type up this mess’o’english and to pin it to the internet. Then my, play-soft ass will gently transition into a work soft mode. Give it time.